Back when I was touring, won’t way where, I remember driving to a majority of places. Keeping watch of every little thing; windy days were some of the worst, to make sure the team I was with didn’t get jumped, and same with them; a Brotherhood of sorts. Recalling back to one of the days where our Senior Officer was telling us a little of his point of view, one of his realizations after his first few tours as a Soldier.
His words were: “Then you feel guilty for living your life. Getting older, when someone else didn’t. Many of them will never, ever have their stories told.” Those words stayed with me ever since he said them, burned into my psyche. It was a huge reason I shifter my point of view to being more neutral. Trying to understand that any of these conflicts are mere points of view that were forced to clash opposition by other men.
One of the first thoughts that came to mind was that I was fighting some others fight. Though I feel I knew that way back when I enlisted. I was okay with it since it was the life I chose. What I’ve learned, what I’ve been sent to witness, even the words of my Senior Officer… was all meant to build me up further that I could ever think.
- May 19
- , 2012
Sitting inside of a helicopter, strapped to a seat alone, across from the team that picked me up. I swallowed my consciousness deep into myself. Reflecting on what I found myself amazed about that I had actually survived. Something I didn’t expect at the beginning.
- May 12
- , 2012
A little insight:
Kaspar Hauser, who lived the first seventeen years of his life chained in a tiny cellar with only a toy horse to occupy his time, devoid of all human contact except for a man who wears a black overcoat and top hat who feeds him. One day, in 1828, the same man takes Hauser out of his cell, teaches him a few phrases, and how to walk, before leaving him in the town of Nuremberg. Hauser becomes the subject of much curiosity, and is exhibited in a circus before being rescued by Herr Daumer (Walter Ladengast), who patiently attempts to transform him.
Hauser soon learns to read and write, and develops unorthodox approaches to logic and religion, but music is what pleases him most. He attracts the attention of academics, clergy, and nobility, but is then physically attacked by the same unknown man who brought him to Nuremberg. The attack leaves him unconscious with a bleeding head. He recovers but is again mysteriously attacked, this time stabbed in the chest.
Having gotten home later than usual one night, I was weighed down with frustration. Not only from having to stay after on my shift, but traffic has been terrible the last few months. Even though I arrived as late as I did, I still managed to beat her home. Therefore I decided to start making our dinner; I wanted to surprise her.
Changing out of my uniform I already felt some of that frustration lift away; feeling even more up to making this dinner. Entering the kitchen I start pulling ingredient from the cabinet and fridge. Placing it all on the counter, I begin combining it together; veggie stuffed breaded chicken with a thick sauce. One of her favorites that I randomly prepared for her one day.
Getting it all prepared, I place them into the oven and set the timer. Cleaning up the counter, I toss away the garbage and put away what still remained intact. As soon as I close the cupboard, I hear her car pull up. Quickly I pop in a DVD we almost watched the other day, and leave it to loop at the menu, while hiding within the closet next to the front door. Not even a second went by when I closed the door did I hear the front door unlock. Keeping my hand on the knob, I keep it pulled tightly towards me.
I wished to surprise her.
What if there had been some kind of a global hiccup – religious based – that ended up in the deaths of a lot of innocent people? History always seems to repeat itself over, and it always seems as if “Gods and religions” are on the front lines. So, I had this simple thought: What if all of the (and I do mean all of them) were wrong? Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, etc – pick one, any one – were wrong?
What if “whoever” is truly responsible for putting us here on Earth showed back up and proved everyone wrong. Would it change things? Make everything different? Better? Would we stop hurting other humans because of what “we” or “they” believe in?
- Kevin Eastman
- April 25
- , 2012
